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Saturday, September 24, 2011
TGE Cammers | watch amateur, cute pinoys get naughty and wild on cam: Join Now!: Want to watch our videos? We have put up an exclusive area where you can see the videos you see on our blog! Access to this site is by invit...
paulo| 8:56 AM

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Friday, February 25, 2005
Forsaken Lunacy of Beauty on Neutral Grounds

It was the scariest three seconds I encountered that day...
I never ever thought that it may happen between us...
not to Him... and even not in my part...
but the saddest thing is...
it was him who had done the factor of weariness in me...
my friend...
my dearest bestfriend...

my day started with a smile,as usual,even i didn't think of the things that would complicate my sunny day...
the past day was still a thrill to me...
my crush just went to our house all the way from angono carrying an ice cream...
(i presumed that a courting is about to take place)
he even went along with me to antipolo where my school is located...
"ang saya,dinalhan na ako ng ice cream... ihahatid pa ako..."
that was the thought which echoed in my mind...
who wouldn't be happy when things between you and your so-called "bet" are going well?
resuming...
when i woke up,i never thought of the things that would make me happy nor the things that would cut my life...
i just woke like any other persons do...
having their breakfast and brushing their teeth...
and still got the after shock of yesterday's nirvana...
and i spent all the day in my school facing the threat of revalida to which until now, up to this very writing,still not taking my turn...
to continue...
aries,my love interest,texted me if we can meet at SM Megamall...
i asked,"bakit?"...
he said,"wala lang...kain lang tayo...dinner.diba may gusto kang mapanood?elektra?"...
hesitation infested me,"ano ka ba?kahapon lang nagkita na tayo.pati ba naman ngayon?baka magkasawaan na tayo niyan?"
he replied instantly,"sige na...please. :("
"okay,dito pa ako sa antipolo kita na lang tayo sa crossing.mga five."
"sunduin na lang kita diyan."
"sandali nasaan ka ba?"
"dito sa NSO,quezon city."
with that reply,happiness did drown me to where i was standing...
i cannot even recall if i was standing or if i was just sitting...
"okay,hintayin na lang kita dito"
five o'clock striked and aries was in the door of our school...
to cut the long story short...
we ate and watched the movie and we contacted a friend of ours to meet us somewhere in the mall...
while walking in the mall aries asked me if i want some ice cream...
i gave a positive answer...
he went to the ice cream stand while i walked away from him...
the location of the stand was just beside the entrance of the department store...
it was on the left side of the front entry while i walked away to the right and viewing my reflection on the glass wall which separates the mall from the department store...
the department store was half-lit inside so i can see the clear view of my self...
i was in my uniform which makes me feel obnoxious-everytime i wear it-so i was just checking if my uniform did made an improvement regarding my obnoxity...
while checking myself on the glass wall...
i saw a familiar face walking outside the department store and leading its way to the mall...
he was flattening his hair while he was walking and swaying the gait which every supermodel would die to have for...
i know who exactly i was smiling at...
as he was leading his steps to the mall i noticed he was with a girl...
a fine lady walking along side with a fine man...
the day was really a brilliant one for me...
i'm with the man whom i can give my heart for now i can see a best friend of mine today which i haven't seen for quite a long time...
everything was falling into the right places,at least, that's what i thought...
when they made their way outside the department store...
as they passed the door...
where i was not five yards away...
my friend just looked at me and he stared away!!!
we had an eye contact for about three seconds...
i "was" his best friend,at least at that time,that's what i was thinking...
as he walked away from me to the escalators leading to the second floor i was still looking at him and saw him glancing backwards...
with him seeing like that i knew he saw me...
he saw me... he saw me... he saw me...

i thought i was his best friend...
at least he said it once...
i would rather lose a boyfriend but not a best friend...

paulo| 8:07 AM

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paulo| 8:07 AM

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Saturday, December 04, 2004
now i am here again!!!
starting tomorrow i will always be here...
just don't take my word!!!!!

paulo| 6:40 AM

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Tuesday, August 24, 2004
my bitter beginning in having a bf

nagsisisi ako ngayon...
sana hindi ko na lang pinilit mahanap ung hindi dapat...
ako rin ang kawawa...
kakatapos ko lang heto na naman ngayon..



noong nakaraang linggo nagpost ako dito naang nilalaman eh searching ako ng bf...
desperado ako...
pathetic di ba?iniwan ko yung e-mail ad ko at ung mobile # ko tapos may tumugon,pangalanan na lang nating"chinito"...
perfect catch siya ako ang worst keeper kungnagkataon...
progressive naman ang texting namin...

i laid out all my cards sinurrender ko ang lahatng feelings ko...
ako ung tipong magpapahuli at lalapit mismo sa patibong...
mabait siya, as in super duper bait, malambing,guwapo, edukado hindi kami bagay...
naalala ko pa may text pa siya na mamahalin niya ako ng buong puso...
ang ganda ng nangyayari nung mga time na un...

sa ganda ng mga nangyayari dun na ako nagduda...
kasi na-in-love na ako...i
magine nakita ko lang siya sa friendster picture niyaat hindi ko kilala ung tao alam ko nahulog na ako sa kaniyakung makikilala ninyo siya mabait siya as in super bait...
suwete ung tao na mamahalin niya...
hindi ko pa siya nakikilala in person at wala pa yatang three daysang texting naming, secured ako na mahal ko na yung tao...
hindi yata, baka, malamang at kung ano pa...

I'm definitely sure mahal ko na siya...I
binibida ko na siya sa mga friends koSabi ko at long last magkaka-bf na yata ako...
Ako lang kasi ang hindi nagkaka-bf sa aming magkakaibiganNaaawa na nga ako sa sarili ko e...
Kapag nagdadasal nga ako sa Itaas laging kasama sa prayers ko na sanaMagka-bf ako...
aminado ako pathetic ako...

tapos nag-kasundo kami na we're going to meet...
sa shangri-la basement, smoking area, tuesday (w/c is tomorrow), at two p.mthen nung Sunday, kahapon un, may laro ang mga kaibigan ko ng liga...
nanalo sila against their most powerful opponent sa ligang unkaya nagkaroon ng celebration...
inuman un antimano.Nagtext pa siya sa akin na kumain na daw ako? Sabi ko hindiAng sabi niya huwag daw ako papagutom akala ko panga nagalit siya sa akinKasi ung huling message ko ang dating ayaw ko munang makipag-text.Un pa pala...
understnding ung tao na ito...
may moral.

Nung mejo nakainom na ako nagtext ako sa kaniya sabi ko sori...
Dahil sa text ko sa kaniya...
ok lang daw un.Nagtanong siya kung may landline kami sabi ko walaEnding pinatawag ko na lang siya phone ng kaibigan ko.Tumawag nga siyaNagkausap kami...

Good Lord!!! Ang ganda ng bosesNiya! He seems to be a perfect guy!!!It's to good to be true!!!Heto na ung malungkot na part...

Mabilis ang pangyayari e.Effeminate daw ang boses ko so to end it allHindi na kami magmi-meet.Hindi niya ako nagustuhanMasyado kasing expressive ang voice ko...
Alam ninyo sa paguusap naming un...Lalo akong nahulog sa kaniya kasi ung time na niligwakNiya ako...
masakit man tanggapin at masakit pakingganParang musika pa rin sa tenga ko ung narinig ko kasiThe way he delivered the words was so diplomatic...
Hindi nia ako pinaasa...

I'm gay but I'm not effeminate nor bi or discreet.I just live my life the way I want it...
Naisip ko tuloy talagang wala akong ni katiting na chanceWhen it comes to "LOVE".Ngayon lang sa akin nangyari ito...
Ayoko nang main-love mahirap pala...
Lalo na kapag authentic at genuine ang nararamdaman mo...
Hindi ko makuhang magalit sa kaniya kasi naiintindihan ko siyaBaka hindi kami mag-click...Kahit pala sa pag-ibig kailangan pala praktikal ka pa rin...
Kahit pala sa pag-ibig meron din palang "survival of the fittest"...
Naiisip ko ngayon sana hindi na lang ako pinanganak...
At kailangan meron akong masandalan...
Ayokong ibuga ang sakit na nararamdaman ko hindi ko alam

Kung hanggang saan ako dadalhin nito…

paulo| 8:08 AM

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Thursday, August 19, 2004
it has been quite a time i left blogging...
but now i'm back with a different packaging and approach to blogging...
i think i'm now in circulation...
bwaha!ha!ha!

paulo| 8:01 AM

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Saturday, June 26, 2004
"sa'yo"

sa isang lulan kung saan ako'y namamalagi
sa aking balintataw kasama ka sa bawat pag-iisip
pag-iisip na walang katapusan na sadyang tuloy-tuloy
imahe mo'ysadyang nakaukit tulad ng tula na parang dumadaloy
mga ngiti mo'y aking mga tanglaw
tulad ng haring araw na sa aki'y tumatanaw
mga ningning ng mga mata mo na makikislap pa sa mga bituin
sa aking patutunguhan ako'y gagabayin
ika'y aking pag-asa,gabay at lakas
sa bawat pakikibaka walang dudang aking mapalalampas
salamat sa iyo na dahilan ng buhay ko
sa larangan ng pamumuhay ako'y iminulat mo
sana ika'y aking kasama sa lulan ko ngayon
ng maipadama ko sa'yo ang init ng pagmamahal ko
ngunit mailap sa katotohanan na maramdaman mo ito
pagkat ayaw ng tadhana na magkadaupang-palad tayo
sa puso kong ito sadyang kaysakit
pagmamahal na para sa'yo ay di nais ikubli
ngunit ika'y may mahal ng iba na sa akin ay malaking tiisin
dasal ko sa Kaniya hanap mong kaligayahan sa kaniya'y tagpuin
kung ako'y muling ipinganganak nais ko'y kapiling ka
kung ako'y mamamatay misyon ko sana'y bantayan ka
pagmamahal na para sa'yo'y sadyang isa ng imortal
wala nang kamatayan pagkat idinasal ko na sa Pinakabanal...

paulo| 9:24 AM

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"the poems"

same words were written
same thoughts were told
but the meanings do not change
they were inscript in bold

same measures that doesn't end
same places where they were thought about
same twists alond the bend
but still the same way when
they all came about

same way the way were all written
same paper where they were all inscripted
but still the meanings still there
all of them could be compared to a simple
quote

i don't know how they came
i don't know how they were written
but it is me to blame
because i love you that would stay the same

i love the words i write
i love way they all came about
in these phrases i could always hide
that i always love you 'til the day i die...

paulo| 9:03 AM

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"nature's intimate wrath"

timeless of beauty
beauty of timelessness
lies silently
in nature it bled
gasped by the wind
sorted by dread
in dark night
the sight watches
haunted by the glimpse
reminded as it passes

recovered by dawn
slaughtered by dust
the force within
reaches to fight
the bay of moonlight
cast dark shadows amidst
to devour in flesh
but in the last breath
sweet tears fled

advocate of supremacy
kissed the lowlands
teeth of path revealed
in the heart of command
the earth being touched
by the enriched moist
the claws of death
now resisted as it was foretold

the passage of time
sailed smoothly in the ocean
salinity unbalanced
the currents crashed
destination was set
but the factors synthesized
let the wave of road take me
soul of beholder untorn apart...

paulo| 8:47 AM

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Wednesday, June 23, 2004
"heart's gate...reopened"

long moments of a while since i left
a place in my heart i can not push myself
to forget
a dwelling of happiness, an affair with
deep sorrows
the way to the parting of my heart and world
as everything started to unfold

but still i returned there without me knowing
slowly opening the door, now caring the gardens
i left before
the earth to which drought kissed now fertiled
and misty
but the person i thought who was there is gone
banished and vanished by the guardians of
nature

i searched for the key but it's out of nowhere
the key that i thought that opened the needing
rendesvouz
but the banished had taken it whom i thought
was still there
he's gone,he's gone did not wait and want for me

but how was i able to open the dwelling locked
for security
wasn't it because of him why i locked it?
there is really many a mystery in this world we
we live in
because i didn't know it is you who opened the
garden for me...

paulo| 8:13 AM

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"recovery of denial"

it has been respressing
since i depleted you on my memory
but the thought of having you
is like a wish of vanity
suppressing it is
for i can't extract you from me
the denial of a memory
is the loosing of sanity

damn you are
and will always be
but the real damned is here
just distorting the reality
i've tried to hear
the howls of truth
but did not listen
to the heart which it will unfold

now the karma of lies
waves to beckon
the genuinity of my foolishness
i am a corroded diamond
rutted is my heart
and so as my mind
denying you was the solution
but your power made me to be overthrown

now i am bleeding
by a poisoned arrow
the denial i made
is now coming for its vengance
i am powerless now
just like the fall of troy
the recovery of denial starts
i've to pay until my morale parts...

paulo| 7:49 AM

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Paulo B. Solarte


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